It's over, I'm so glad.

My life was once consumed by school.  That's over, now that APs are here. I'm SO glad, too.

Now life's consumed by ultimate, but that's also about to be over.  What happens when it's done?  I mean, obviously I'm still going to play, but not as much as I have been. Obviously if I make YCC this is totally obsolete, but if I do I will seriously question the seriousness of the team.  :] Seriously, though, I don't know what I'm going to move on to next.  Maybe it's time to start aggressivly trying to get some boys to spend the summer with, or else what am I going to do??

I'm hungry and it's dinner. I had two APs today, and I have two tomorrow. MANY I'm so exctited to be done with school.  Not super excited about more school, though, so we'll see.

I had this sudden revelation: Oh my God, I should be saving for retirement.  Like, I seriously thought about it for an hour last night as I was laying in bed, trying to sleep.  That is one of the most responsible things I've thought about in a long time: 50 years into the future.  Wow, it made me feel very thoughtful and prepared (even though I didn't do anything).

Anyway, so I told my parents that I wanted to start and IRA and my dad told me no, basically.  He told me I'm better off just investing in stocks by myself. I'm going to do it. I don't need a safe CD anymore. I'm going to enter THE STOCK EXCHANGE!!!!!! When I get around to it. and once the semester ends so i'll have a little bit more time to "manage my portfolio". I'm going to be RICH. When I'm 65. Hopefully.

in a poetic mood.

dont know why.

hmm

summer's over

fuck. seriously. i'm so...resentful right now. i just feel frustrated and angry. i should probably go run around, but i'm not going to.  i just can't. i'm too emotional.

i'm just having one of those days where i'm just upset.  for no good reason.  like, literally. I cannot think of any reason why i should be upset, except that school's back, and it's only the second day, and i already have tons of homework. but i'm in one of those ultra productive moods.

ok here's my theory.  the state of my room reflects what's up in my head.  i can't bring myself to clean my room at all. today i went searching through my closet for last year's notebook because I really need it, and I can't find it.  I have no idea where it is. I want to look, but I can't bring myself to, because I know the only way I'll find it is to totally clean my room and honestly. I don't want to.

I just don't want to go to class anymore. I wish all of our work was assigned and we could just go home and work on it.  I was sitting in every single class today, wondering when it was going to be over, which is pathetic because it's a short day.  It's only the damn second day! But I feel like there's nothing to do but wait.  Wait until I feel enough pressure to have to start doing college apps, then wait until i'm rejected (or accepted), and then wait until schools over, and wait until something fun happens during the summer, and wait and wait and wait for life to start.

That's the really frustrating thing, though.  Everyone has been saying, "I can't wait for high school to be over!" And then they laugh that it's only the second day of school.  But still, no one can wait until our first day off, no one can wait until the first weekend, or until homecoming, or thanksgiving, or whenever.  We just need to stop waiting! The only problem is, I have no idea what else to do.